Review: Monsieur Patate

Lachine, Quebec

THIS RESTAURANT IS CLOSED

When the weather’s nice, many Montrealers cycle down the 14.5km from downtown to the end of the Lachine Canal. What better way to celebrate such an accomplishment than by annulling all health benefits from the cycling with a lardy poutine at Monsieur Patate, positioned strategically at the end of the trail. The crew I traveled with explored town for some healthier options, but the prospect of sharing a poutine with yours truly was too much to resist. This is particularly true of REBECCA UCHILL, who has been checking this blog regularly, hoping to see her name appear in an article about her experience. REBECCA, here are your fifteen minutes of fame!

Lachine, Quebec

Monsieur Patate may claim to run a “bar laitier,” but he’s not fooling anyone. Potatoes are what this guy is about. As we stepped into the ramshackle beige tin-covered snack bar, vaguely reminiscent of the finest in third-world architecture, we were lucky enough to be served by Monsieur Patate himself. We asked him whether his burger and poutine were any good. He scoffed at our nerve, then said “we’ve been here for twenty eight years! Need I say more?” Some sources suggest Monsieur Patate may even be a former mayor of Lachine. What a legend!

As we waited for our meal at the red picnic tables outside, the worst of the 1980s paraded before our eyes. A hairy and wiry 50-year-old man with very short acid-wash jean shorts, bushy mustache, and John Oates hair cycled in front of us. We also saw a car with open windows drive by blasting Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight.”

Lachine, Quebec

Getting back to the poutine, my fellow cyclists seemed to think it was quite good until we started looking at it in detail. Unfortunately, I lost all the notes I took during that meal. I do have a vague recollection of limp fries, skimpy cheese that was a bit too melty, and gravy with subtle burnt notes. It hit the spot though, but not in any meaningful way. I also remember that we tallied up the score right then and there, which amounted to…

TOTAL SCORE: 67/100

Verdict: Take a right at the end of the trail, cycle up the old canal, and hit up some of the nicer restaurants past the big church in Lachine town. Your arteries will thank you for it.

 

Location: 225, Chemin Du Canal in Lachine

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1 Comment

Filed under Classic Poutine Reviews, Montreal

One response to “Review: Monsieur Patate

  1. Rebecca Uchill

    Patrick, thanks for making my dreams of poutine fame come true! There was no better way to end our day of cycling and sculpture-park-ing than to see the pundit in action. I rather liked the poutine at Monsieur Patate, but I’m still a novice.

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