Montreal: Poutine Nadir?

Montreal is a great city for anyone who loves food. You can find it all: fancy cuisine du marché, Venezuelan golfeados, Tamil dosas, Polish Bigos and, if you look hard enough, you’ll even find Japanese restaurants that serve something other than sushi.

But one thing is hard to find. Most of us who’ve lived elsewhere in Quebec agree that Montreal is notorious for third-rate poutine. Many casse-croutes will shamelessly serve up limp fries swimming in lumpy gravy covered with grated pizza cheese. What is this crap? Why is it that some inbred hick operating a fry shack in backwoods Saint-Machin can serve up a proper poutine and you can’t?

“Enough” I say! I’ve stared at too much disgusting soupy potato mush trying to pass off as poutine. Nobody should have to eat this. I’m all for reasonable accommodation of strange cultural practices, but there should be no reasonable accommodation for a bad poutine. People need to be told where to go and who to shun.

The web offers little in the way of help. One poutine rating site uses a democratic approach, but the high votes for this poutine clearly indicate that most voters are either drunk or demented. Another site looks like it hasn’t been updated in years, and some of the reviews are unscientific. This site will be a definitive reference, using rigourous criteria to arrive at the objective truth about Montreal’s poutine.

I, The Poutine Pundit, have selflessly agreed to clog my arteries with this town’s lousy poutine so you don’t have to. I aim to find the rare diamonds in the poutine rough and share them selflessly with all. Stay tuned!

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5 Comments

Filed under Poutine Academy

5 responses to “Montreal: Poutine Nadir?

  1. Anne

    Keep on doing your good work! Looking forward to reading all your critics.

  2. Joel

    Yes! I was just browsing the web looking for a site like this, because I feel the same way. I’m disappointed at the number of places that serve fries with shredded mozzarella and call it poutine.

    My favourite poutine is at a little pizza/sub place in the west island called Nikko’s.

    http://www.pizzanikkos.ca/

    If you ever get out to that area I’d love to read a review. Maybe you can help me find a downtown spot that has something similar.

  3. I think it’s great that you’ve taken on the task of weeding out the best poutine places in Montreal 😀 Personally I’m one of the group that don’t mind either grated or curd cheese as long as there’s lots of it.

    The two best poutines I’ve had in a while are both with curd cheese though. The first is the one at Pizzeria Bella in the Guy exit of Guy-Concordia metro, I’ve only had it once so I can’t vouch for consistency but the sauce was good, the fries crispy and the curds were still squeaky if I remember correctly. Been about a month or so since I ate it.

    The second I ate around the same time, not in Montreal though, at the Dino’s Pizzeria in Rawdon about an hour north of Montreal where my parents live, I ate it twice and the first time the fries were super crispy but the second not as much, maybe need to ask for “bien-cuites” fries? Sauce was very good but the curds were slightly melted, not so squeaky if I remember right. Definitely getting both of them again, I would strongly recommend them.

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