Review: Le Gros Jambon

Montreal newcomer Le Gros Jambon has been getting all kinds of great reviews lately. Most people agree that it is one of the rare decent casual dining spots in the tourist nadir of the old city.

Other Trashy Food: Pupusas

“My country has three main exports: street gangs, cheap labour, and pupusas,” explained my Salvadoran friend. “I used to think pupusas were the only good export until I went back to El Salvador for a year and gained 30 pounds.”

Review: La Poutinerie

La Poutinerie is a relatively new place in Saint Sauveur, the most run-down part of Quebec City. It is located in the former premises of Quebec Hot Dog, a legendary purveyor of trashy food that featured WWF wrestler Mad Dog Vachon in their 1980s ads.

Review: Laurier Gordon Ramsay

The old Rotisserie Laurier, a Montreal landmark dating back to 1936, was recently rebranded by Britain’s favourite foul-mouthed celebrity chef. The weathered brown seats and dark interior were entirely whitewashed, creating a chic minimalist space. I would normally oppose such desecration, but I had no attachment whatsoever to the earlier incarnation of this restaurant. All I can say is that the new interior looks good.

Did the Greeks Ruin Poutine?

“I’m not a racist, but there’s a reason poutine is worse in Montreal than elsewhere in the province,” said my racist friend. “There are too many Greek immigrants running restaurants.”

The Greeks are not only being blamed for ruining the Euro; it seems they also ruined poutine. While I think this is an unfortunate oversimplification, let’s humour my friend for a minute. It is true that many of the Greek-run restaurants I have tried in Montreal use grated cheese rather than superior curd cheese. This may be cultural – I have never been to Greece, but my travels in the surrounding countries have shown that “fries with grated cheese” appears on many bar menus. A little bit of googling confirms that the Greeks are also fond of something similar, though I’ll have to admit that the feta used in this recipe sounds like a better curd-cheese substitute than the bland pizza cheese used in Montreal.

Review: Café Cosmos

Why did I eat here? I think I was drunk. No, now I remember: some idiot raved about Cosmos’ special poutine with out-of-this-world three-pepper sauce and I believed him.

Poutine in the UK (with Gordon Ramsay)

Finding poutine in Europe is difficult. You’d think you could find a decent poutine in Paris, but Parisians have never shown much interest in cuisine from Quebec. It seems there’s only one place that serves it called “The Great Canadian Pub.” I refused to set foot in this place because 1) it has a stupid name, 2) it has giant sports screens and 3) the poutine is supposedly crap.

So I took the Eurostar and headed to London, which had more options. London also has its fair share of tacky Canada-themed pubs for the hoser crowd – all of which apparently serve abominations topped with grated cheese. However, Gordon Ramsay’s Foxtrot Oscar claimed to serve the real thing with proper squeaky cheese. Since online comments were generally positive, I decided to check it out.

Review: Au bonnet d’âne

Au bonnet d’âne (The Dunce Cap), is one of the nicer cafés in Quebec City. It is located in the artsy progressive enclave of Saint-Jean-Baptiste. The wood furnishings, wood fridge, and tin ceiling give the place a nice cozy feel. There are display cabinets with school-themed memorabilia. This is appropriate, as the Grey Nuns used to run a school across the street–my mom went to grade school there in the 1940s and likes to point out where they took out the school door and replaced it with a window. Look closely–you can still see it.

Norwegian Poutine at Café Ellefsen

You don’t need to be Scandinavian to run a good Scandinavian restaurant. In fact, some of the best Scandinavian food I ever had was at Fika, a “Swedish Halal” café run by Malay Muslims in Singapore.

Café Ellefsen is run by a Quebecer whose distant Scandinavian relatives migrated to the Saguenay. The cozy-minimalist decor is fantastic, a welcome addition to the design-starved neighbourhood of Rosemont. As a result of this, it has been colonized by young people with Macbooks.

Review: Patate Rouge

It takes a lot to drag me out to the wasteland of elevated highways around Cremazie metro station, but Patate Rouge seemed to be worth the trek. Two different people told me it may have the best poutine in Montreal, both of whom are usually as dismissive of the city’s poutine options as I am. Once you’re out of the station, it’s a dismal five minute walk east alongside the elevated highway to get there – enjoy!